you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
