Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
