i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
