Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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