I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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