we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
