laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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