You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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