It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
