My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
