What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
