PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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