i think my mom watched the whole time
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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