Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
