I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
