I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
