I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
