omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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