How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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