WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
