Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
