party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
