i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
