i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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