My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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