I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
