Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
