Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
