Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
