Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
