I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
