so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
