he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
