u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
