so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
