i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
