She said her name was "party"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
