guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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