She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
