i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
