I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
