If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
