so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
