break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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