They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
