In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
