i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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