is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
