thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My feet surprised me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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