At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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