And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
